Let’s Talk About My Hair

So, I just put in for a transfer to a position in Albany!

There were, like, two positions in the whole company that I wanted, if they opened up, and one did! Yay! 

 

I have been commuting to Eugene 3 days a week since December, and we almost up and moved there, because the hour commute each way was just no good. I applied for this position less than 5 minutes after it was posted.

 

I kind of just expected to be given the position, honestly, but the company has been doing some restructuring, and trying to make everything a little more official and above board, so, long story short, I have to wait for a week to see if anyone else applies, and if they do, I have to interview for the spot.

 

No big deal.

First, I kind of doubt anyone else will apply. Overnight shifts aren’t popular. And, second, even if they do, I’m good at interviewing, and I think I have a really good chance of getting it.

 

And I’m kind of, sort of… just a little bit, hoping that I’ll have to interview.

Why? Wouldn’t it be better to just get it by default?

Yes. It would.

…But.

If I have to interview for the position, I have a good reason to dye my hair brown.

 

My hair, you see, is somewhat of a problem.

 

When I got accepted into the computer science program, I sat down with myself and really thought about the fact that I am going to keep working for the same company, in the same position, for another entire year or more. I’m not looking. I’m not interviewing. I’m just keeping my head down, doing my job, and finishing my school.

 

Then I started thinking about pastel hair.

 

My company doesn’t care what we look like. Really. Not at all. Often, when a new relief staff will come in, fresh out of college, with a cute outfit on, and her hair done, big mascara eyes blinking at all the middle aged men in the homes, who don’t usually have any interaction with women except for staff, I sigh and roll my eyes and get ready for all the extra behaviors we’re going to have that day.

 

Sometimes it’s handy, though, because I can say “Hey so-and-so, can you go ask Elmer* to shower?” because Elmer hasn’t showered in a month, but Elmer loves pretty girls, and he’ll probably do whatever she asks him to.

 

*Elmer is not his real name of course. Such a funny guy. Never talked in anything but monosyllables, until one day we’re at the grocery store, and the checkout girl is a pretty blonde. The guy makes chit chat. Chit chat! I was floored. He had a serious thing for blondes.

 

Anyway, what I’m saying is, it’s best to be nondescript at work, generally. Not saying I don’t use the eye-bat, “Would you do that…? For me? Please?” occasionally, to good effect, but I do it in stretchy pants with no make-up on, and that works out just fine.

It means that I can do the, “Hey. What time is it? Do we turn our radios up to eleven at this time of night? Do we?” to equally good effect.

 

Okay, so. My hair.

 

Once I came to terms with the fact that I was going to be staying put for an entire year, and then hopefully entering the work force in some sort of a professional computery capacity, I decided that it was high time to do something fun and wild with my hair, before I had to be a real, normal-looking adult for the foreseeable future.

 

I decided that the answer was, purple.

I bleached my hair, twice, and it turns out that I kind of look good blonde. I didn’t think I would like, it, but.. I kinda like it.

Image

 

See? It works.

 

(Warning: this is the best looking I will be for the entirety of this entry)

 

The next step was dying it purple. That first day, I dyed it three times, and left the dye on my hair basically forever. It turned… not purple. Not really anything. Just kind of… blonde. Maybe a slightly grey blonde?

 

Here is the very closest thing I ever got to purple. This was… somewhere in the middle. I lost track.

Image

 

It looks pretty cute, right? I dunno, I liked it. Unfortunately, more often, my hair looked like this.

 

Image

 

Blue. Not all over blue. Just kind of splotchy, patchy kind of sort of sometimes blue. In other parts, blonde. But not nice blonde. Grey, blotchy bluish blonde. Unfortunate.

 

So I chopped it off, (to which I say, thank god. I was utterly over long hair. Especially after I fried it into a crisp, but I was done with it long before that anyway).

 

I asked the hairstylist why my hair wasn’t purple. Also, why it wasn’t… anything, in a lot of places. He gave me some tips, and then I got a haircut that looked really cute. Until I washed it, and tried to style it myself, after which it looked pretty much like total crap.

 

Image

 

See?

 

I took the tips, and bought a new type of dye. At this stage, my hair is pretty much the same color all over! And, I assert that that color is something close to a pastel shade!

 

What it is not, however, is purple.

Give you a hundred guesses what that dye was called, based on my hair color.

Purple plum.

Whatever purple plum. You’re the worst.

 

If you look at that last picture, you can see that I’ve got some roots going on, right there at the part. Guess what? I was styling my hair and holding my head just so, so that my roots looked that minimal, Truth was, they were brutal. They just got worse.

The bizarre part was, I was bleaching them! Or, I was trying.

I put the stuff on, and waited and waited and… brown.

Apparently my developer had gone bad. Who knew?

 

My hairstylist knew. I went back again, with some specific instruction for what I wanted (and a request to see someone different then last time, because, seriously? Ugh.) I did not get what I wanted, but I got something cute, anyway, as well as a list of things I needed from Sally’s Beauty Supply.

 

You want to know how bad my roots got? When I got done bleaching them (it worked this time), this was the result!

 

Image

 

And you know what? I think it’s cute. The roots are long enough to make the it look like the two tones are almost… intentional. I left it like this for a week or so until I had the chance to dye the blonde part pink.

But, you know what’s sad? That picture was taken after I dyed it pink.

 

Apparently, my hair hates all colors other than blue. My hair rejects red. It denies purple. It repudiates pink.

And I never wanted it to be blue.

 

At this point in the tally, I am the proud owner of 5 partially used tubs of hair dye (brands various), a giant tub of blue flash bleach, two different types of developer (one spoiled), several various applicator bottles, brushes, bowls and other ephemera, and a purple shower.

I’ve also had 2 haircuts within weeks of each other, and have spent countless hours bothering with this crap.

 

I’m sick of it. I just want it to be brown again, and never to have to worry about it ever again. But, I don’t want to feel like I gave up. I don’t want to waste all of that product, and time and effort.

 

So… if I can just have to interview for that job, I can pretend that it was totally necessary, and go buy that box of Revlon medium brown hair dye and…

 

Hope that my hair turns brown again, because at this point? Who knows.

 

 

 

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