Some things took shape tonight that were previously amorphous. I’m used to getting to bed pretty early right now, and it’s midnight, which is a little late for me, so I’m going to try to make this short. In fact, I’m going to make it a list.
1. I am moving to Corvallis in 35 days. That number is really scary, but it’s better to know it than not to know it.
I am planning to be there on July 15th, because I want to go to this bizarre festival, which is on the 17th, and I need a couple days to decompress. I can not go into the festival right now. It deserves a lot of discussion and explanation, and a whole lot of baggage unpacking, but now is not the time. Soon will be the time. So so soon.
2. I do not need to worry about finding a shitty apartment, or subletting from a college student and having to move again in a month, and worry about the cat.
I will be living with my birthmother, hereafter super-secret-blog code-named “Rebecca” for at least a little while, until I can find the perfect apartment, or cottage or mother-in-law residence or yert. This takes away oh-my-god so much of the stress. I can go and look in person!
3. I do not need to have the perfect job lined up for me right away right now forever. I have been trying to look for psychology jobs and resident assistant jobs on craigslist and job search sites, and it is terrible. I am either way over or under qualified, and the pay is bad and the job descriptions are terrible and vague and also sound depressing. I do not want to do them.
And, you know what? I like retail! I like customer service! Not, maybe, at the big-box super-corporate store so much, but… there are other types of stores! There are other types of businesses! And if I don’t have to pay rent right away, my little bit of savings will last me quite a while, while I look -in person- with Rebecca’s support and resources in the community, for something that I will enjoy. What a relief.
4. I am bringing the cat. She’ll survive the trip up, one way or another, and then she will learn to live at Rebecca’s. She will learn to live with the three other cats who live there and maybe she will figure out that the world does not revolve entirely around her furry self, and she will check the attitude a little bit. Eventually. Hopefully. Please.
And eventually I will find the perfect apartment or cottage or yert, and she will move there with me, and maybe she will like the company so much that I will have to get a cat-friend, or maybe she will be so happy to get out of that cat infested house that she will become even more obsessed with me and sit on my head forever and ever and be grateful.
Speculation, especially with cats, is absurd, but at least now I feel like I can speculate a little bit because I have an idea of what lies ahead for us. And I hope that she will learn to be grateful, but I already am.
5. I do not have to bring every item that I want to continue to own with me in my car on my one trip up to Oregon. I can pack boxes of the things that I do not need right away, and I can mail them to myself later, or, rather, I can have Mom mail them. Did you know that you can mail stuff? I did, of course, but I didn’t think about the fact that I could do this until Rebecca pointed it out tonight. Now I can pack boxes of things that I won’t need right away and give them to my parents to store, and I can start immediately. It will give me something concrete to do, which will be so helpful.
6. I can tell my job when I am leaving. I’m not saying what the date is. I don’t think I will tell them for a few days yet. The day is soon though. It is in sight, and I am so excited.
Yeah, that’s pretty much what I want to say.
I am so excited.